Thursday, August 11, 2011

Careful What You Wish For

this post has been transferred from my original blog "Words and Wonderings of Katie Darling"
originally posted in August 2011

So, today my pregnancy is 16 weeks and 1 day. I am not nearly as worrisome as I was since the last post. That's not to say that it has been totally smooth sailing, I have just gotten used to the fact that this is going to be one hell of a roller coaster ride and I am actually beginning to look forward to what the future holds. Even if I am sometimes scared shitless!

The first trimester sucked pretty bad. I had a subchoreonic hemorrhage that occurred in week 5. It kept giving me trouble through week 13 and the constant nausea was exasperating, to say the least.  I can honestly say that it has been a total lesson in being careful what you wish for. I hated it. It's pretty gross and I learned, very quick, that pregnancy is not for the faint of heart. And after all the nastiness of it, I now think that all those women who say they loved being pregnant are completely out of their minds! Or, maybe they just mean they loved part of being pregnant? Maybe they're completely full of crap? I don't know how anyone can love being sick all the time whilst not getting any sleep at all. There have been plenty of nights when I thought I should just sleep on the bathroom floor, since I seem to spend more time in there peeing than doing anything else. Eat, sleep and pee is my daily existence, just like a baby. I assume this is all just practice for the millions of feedings and diaper changes that are soon to come, so at least by then I'll be used to it. I sure do have a long way to go, though. January 22, 2012 is still a long way off.

I can also say, thankfully, that I am not alone right now. I am blessed with an awesome husband who has the patience of a saint. I love him dearly for that! I have at least two coworkers who either just had their first or are due to have their first child in the very near future. And, I am lucky to have a very supportive group of friends from all over the world on Plurk, one of whom has 5 year old twins and one who is about to have another child very soon. Without all of their input and advice, I think I might be totally lost or just about ready to pull my hair out! Without them, living with Bipolar and ADD during pregnancy might prove to be a nightmare. Their advice, support, and totally off the wall senses of humor have been the best prescription of all!

I would describe being pregnant as feeling like I've been hijacked by an alien to anyone who asks, but for right now, I am pleased to have made it this far, considering. As far as having more in the future after this one is concerned? Yeah. I'd probably do it in a heart beat. The bottom line is that, in the end, I know all of the gross, scary, nerve wracking moments I have been through (which there will be plenty more of) will all melt away the moment I see my little baby's face.

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